Project 2011

Baby, It's Cold Outside.

2011-02-01T02:19:00.002-05:00

So....I won! Isn't that exciting?

You can see the details for February's challenge and read my flash fiction HERE.

. . . . .

This month my dedication to others has been focused on the written word. I have a lot of people who follow me on HPFF, each one of which I appreciate more than I can explain, but occasionally I get a personal message or email from someone asking for help. Which I love.

Even if I'm busy, I still love to help people with their writing. Writing has helped me and turned me into the person I am today. If I didn't have inspirations or people to help me along the way, where would I be? So I try to help everyone as much as time will allow.

Character sketches. Plot ideas. Grammar help.

And I hope, in turn, that they will be able to pass it on if that time ever comes.

The written word is a gift that is meant to be shared.

xoxo.

Challenges.

2011-01-07T14:36:00.002-05:00

I think what we all need sometimes is a good challenge. It's easy to put something aside and say, "Oh, I'll come back to it later." Sometimes we do, sometimes not so much. It's also easy to just take the obvious way out of things. But when you're a writer, obvious isn't going to do much for you. So even though most of you might not fancy prompts, sometimes they can get the ball rolling.

If you're looking for some good writing challenges, check out one of these sites or Google it up!

One Minute Writer
It's a daily challenge that sets your writing to one minute to see what you come up with. I have won one of their daily awards for my six word memoir.

Eat Move Write(r)
This site has a monthly challenge of a piece of work under 1,000 words. It's well thought out and very interesting! (Link is for most recent challenge)

So then at least you get SOME writing done in a day. Today, I wrote for both of those websites in a challenge. Even if you don't think you have time, you have one minute to write a snippet before your run at the gym or gyro on the corner.

Think about it.

New Year, New Goals

2011-01-06T21:51:00.002-05:00

It's 2011 and last year I went through a lot to find things. To find myself, find my path after graduation, and to find my writing style. I think I've found most of what I was looking for, though I still have plenty of questions and uncertainties. If I didn't I would be worried.

In 2010 I accomplished a lot. I graduated from college. I got engaged. I struggled financially. I found a full time job. I lost my way. I found my way. I got one of my flash fictions published by a literary journal.

Now it's time for a new year of challenges. Project 2011.

This year it's going to be about me keeping up. Keeping up with myself, with my passions, and with the people around me. I am going to focus heavily on keeping others around me as motivated as I am. If I have time, which I do, I can do my part.

Project 2011 will focus on these things:

-My writing. I am currently outlining my first ever legitimate novel.
-My inspirations.
-Giving back. This could be just by paying it forward, Operation Beautiful, writing a letter to explain to someone how much they mean to me, or other ways to give back.
-In correlation with the previous post, I want to focus on helping people.
-Reading. I read so much in the summer, but I have been picking up far more books recently and all of you need reviews on them.
-Reading more BLOGS. I love following blogs and I am going to seek more out to explore.
-Staying healthy. It is not just about lowering calorie count, but exercising, eating right, and avoiding temptation.
-My Etsy store. I love the extra things I do on Etsy and it's fun to share those with others.
-? Other options are open.

So today marks the start of an entirely new year. As a published author and optimist.

Thoughts?

The Hotel

2010-10-20T20:23:00.003-04:00

For roughly forty hours every week I work at a hotel. I do front desk stuff, which includes cleaning the coffee machine, checking guests in and out, and messing with a computer system that still uses "escape" and "arrow down" more often than anything else. Fortunately, though it's not my ideal job, it's not bad at all. I enjoy interacting with the people that come through here and I love the other people I work with. Though I'm here alone most of the time, it's nice.

Being alone in a hotel also means watching a lot of Weather Channel and CNN. So I know a lot about what's going on in the world. I feel for the people with the typhoon.

It's also a place filled with inspiration. Sounds weird, but we have just over 100 rooms. There are people in and out of the rooms every day. I check the rooms every so often to make sure they're stocked with tissues and the beds are made. Some people are regulars and get the same rooms. Some people get mad they can't have a first floor room even though they didn't make a reservation. Some people don't care at all what sort of room it is. The expressions on their faces tell me everything, including if they hated being called sir.

I like watching how they move and how they answer the phone during a courtesy call.

Sometimes, like I used to do in college, I make up stories for them. I've already heard some from other people, but I like to make up scenarios of what could be going on. Sometimes it's like things just fly by, though. Like people go in and out and I can't remember who is who because there are just too many. At least I seem to have the regulars down.

Maybe I'll write a story that relates to hotel activity from an inside standpoint. Or a series of flash fiction. There's a thought.

Back in the Game

2010-10-18T12:27:00.003-04:00

Those of you who know me know I am a writer. First and foremost that is what I do. I was warned at the end of Fall semester 2009 that things like stress, money woes, and uncertainty would try and strip me of that mentality, that I may lose my way.

I lost my way.

For the last six months or so, I have forgotten how to get back. I was in such a stiff, dry world surrounded by uncertainty, finances, and skepticism. First it was finishing off college. Then it was finding a job, finding a place to live. Then it was the weary detailing of not doing what I wanted to do. I knew I had to pay my dues to get the job I wanted, but I didn't think that would entail more retail. After that it was the seriousness and wonderment of paying my bills, because let's face it. Old Navy barely gave me enough for the first set of bills, let alone rent.

I was in a downward spiral of creativity. The only good point during that time was I brought back a lot of my artistic creativity. To make extra cash, I designed the Etsy store and began to sell off of there and it did make me a good deal of extra money. I am still doing it, though not as much now that I snagged a full time job that can pay bills, rent, and for a little pick-me-up from Victoria's Secret.

I continued to write, just not in the way that I used to. I kept at the fan fiction, and I am thankful I did. It kept me sane through the ordeal, as did the thousands of people that commented on each story.

But I was no longer thinking like a writer. I let myself get bored with life, sinking into a mundane routine. The only time I really used my brain to solve issues was at work while decided which housekeepers got which set of rooms and adding the numbers together. I longed for a challenge, but something unrelated to asking customers to open an Old Navy card so they could get a free bag.

Then Kristina called me. We talked about work, significant others--the usual suspects. She told me she thought of an alternate ending to her pumpkin story. It was a story she had written last fall while we worked on thesis-stress and found ourselves as writers. I remembered it well. She told me the new ending. It sounded brilliant.

What happened next was a strange flood of emotions. Suddenly I thought about my stories--about the reactions I received from them--about how I grew as a writer, an artist, and a person. I opened them all, reread my favorites, and let out a long breath. I missed it. I longed for it. I grabbed my Writer's Market and started printing. Over the span of the next three days I send three stories off to 27 different literary journals. Of course I've already been rejected once, but that is part of the process, isn't it? Harry Potter was rejected so many times before it was picked up. Not that my little slice-of-life story will get that sort of attention, but always keep trying. I know that if I receive 27 rejection letters, I will still keep trying until I have exhausted every option, all while constantly editing and bettering myself.

I read more. I went on to a couple of sites and read my weight in flash fiction. I read more Raymond Carver. Contest winners. Anything. I ordered a magazine from a place that specializes in Flash Fiction, just so I can see what they are looking for.

Finally, while going to work a few mornings later, my fiance said something. He told me the title of the song we were listening to. Instantly, I thought of a story. It would be the title to a story. A little piece about power struggles and leaning. I saw a sign for Dark Roast coffee. I thought of the way the words were put together, the way the sounds made it almost mid-evil. I thought about words and about sound and about flavor.

I was thinking like a writer for the first time in over six months. I was thinking like myself.

Stress and finances almost got the better of me, but I would like to say, to end this blog post egocentrically focused on me, that I am back in the game. I am a writer. I will always be a writer.

Goals:
Short-term:
1. Send to literary journals (check)
2. Write one thing each day.
-Could be poem, flash fiction, or piece of novel
3. After a few months of that, send out polished work to more places
4. Watch the rejections pour in, fix errors.

Long term:
1. Get published in the New Yorker.
2. Hold a published work in my hand.
3. Get a book deal.

Good luck to everyone. Whatever you have in you, let it out!

2010-07-16T02:45:00.001-04:00

I am currently in the process of revamping this whole thing, so stay with me, folks! This is going to be quite the ride! New, informative post coming soon!

For now...sleep.

Dear Readers,

2010-06-27T20:47:00.003-04:00

This post is for my readers on HPFF. If you have no idea what that means, you're more than welcome to skip on to the next one! (I need help naming that darn owl!)

If you do know what HPFF is and you are interested, read on!

All right, peeps! I made that Twitter! Here are the features:

*Chapter updates
*Queue updates
*Snippets from upcoming chapters
*Updates on meeeeee
*Guest posts from people like James, Oliver, Freddie, Alicia, etc.
*Pure insanity.

Do you want to follow? Click on the link below or the icon above!!

@MistressHPFF

What do you think about the awesome background design??

We need a name!

2010-06-27T15:57:00.004-04:00

All right, everyone, I'm calling in back-ups! I have the sweetest, cutest little owl ever...but he doesn't have a name. Before you get too excited, he's not a real owl (I don't have a Hedwig in my living room), but he could be real if you squint just right. And wrinkle your nose.

He is going to be featured on a new series of cards I am making for my shop. I've been sketching him for a couple years now, but he doesn't have a name. That's where YOU come in!

I need a name for him :) So comment on this post, write on Facebook, reply on Twitter, or do whatever. Just give me some name ideas for this cute, quirky owl!

He's a very well-behaved owl, though when he thinks no one's looking he has the tendency to sneak an extra treat or two. He loves sunrises and reading the newspaper on the back porch. He also loves to grill, especially veggies.

Here are some pictures of him on the new cards I will soon be featuring:

So what do you think?

My Awesomesauce Bulletin Board

2010-06-16T16:45:00.004-04:00

Today, my bulletin board was featured on Operation Beautiful!

I made the bulletin board with leftover supplies from the Operation Beautiful program I wrote about a couple months ago. It was in the elevator lobby of my floor (a high traffic area) to educate people about the program. In a fun, upbeat sort of way...of course :)

Today it made it's appearance on the web, so I thought I would post some pictures & links here to remind you all to go pick up a cheap pack of sticky notes, a Sharpie, and make someone smile! I even use a tiny book (currently using the book of Six Word Memoirs) and put a note on each page and carry it around in my purse to put notes in unsuspecting places.

Go here to see my bulletin board on the website!

Contest WINNERS!

2010-06-16T00:36:00.003-04:00

Thank you to everyone who participated in my giveaway to celebrate 100 Twitter followers! In this last week Brixton Studios has almost reached 150! Thanks! I'll definitely have another giveaway down the road, so hit the "follow" button so I can keep you posted.

To pick the winners I used a random number generator and picked third place first and went up to first. And without further ado, I give you the winners of my giveaway!

3rd place (winner of the 2 penguin cards)
Linda (lindab142.etsy.com)

2nd place (winner of 3 summer yellow Thank You cards)
Crystal (hendrix9906.etsy.com)

1st place (winner of 6 purple Thank You cards)
Emily (inviteme.etsy.com)

Thanks again for the amazing support! If these winners do not reply to the contact messages within a week, another winner will be chosen for that category.

Also, I appreciate the feedback on more things for the shop! You'll definitely see a lot of those!

NEW:

Visit my shop for details.

Seriously?

2010-06-12T11:13:00.003-04:00

First of all, I want to thank everyone for their ongoing support in everything I have been trying to tackle since graduation. From starting an Etsy store to running a freelance business, you have all be tremendously supportive! And surprisingly, I've even gotten some me-writing done lately for my wonderful HPFF fans!

Anyway, today I wanted to talk about something I stumbled across a few days ago. Have you heard of the shirt from Urban Outfitters? The one that is gray and says "Eat Less" in a flowy script? Obviously, it has gone over horribly with critics and regular people alike. According to the Huffington Post, it has been removed from Urban Outfitter's online store, but remains in retail outlets. The photo of the shirt is printed on a model, who is rather skinny (Not as skinny as some I've seen, but seriously, I'm sending her over my fresh batch of Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies).

Do you think this shirt is tasteless, or just a shirt? There are so many joke shirts on T-Shirt Hell that are much worse than this, but what is the difference? The difference is T-Shirt Hell is a satiric site based on getting laughs and gasps out of people. Urban Outfitters is filtered to the masses and, like many chains, has a direct impact on what young people think. I'm not saying someone is going to look at this shirt and say, "Oh, okay. I should eat less." But don't you think it is pushing this whole "skinny" thing a little too far? Borderline pro-anorexia?

The description of the t-shirt says, "Eat less or more or however much you'd like in this seriously soft knit tee cut long and topped with a v-neck." I agree with Huffington on this one, maybe they should have printed that on the whole t-shirt.

I personally think the shirt is tasteless and though many people could drop a few Big Macs from their diet, the solution to being healthy is not just eating less. Some people don't need to eat any less than they do, they just need to eat healthier. They need to pump some iron. I think this is fueling the addiction to skinny many young girls already have. Luckily, the controversy seems to be fueling a negative feeling toward these shirts.

There need to be more campaigns like Operation Beautiful to set people straight. You are beautiful just the way you are. There are things you can change about you (I'm trying to kick some of this weight I put on in college), but you're beautiful. You don't need a stupid shirt that says "Eat Less." What does that say about you? What does that say to other people while you wear it?

Not so good.

CONTEST GIVEAWAY! Ends June 15

2010-06-08T02:19:00.007-04:00

Who doesn't love something free? Seriously?

In honor of my business Twitter, BrixtonStudios, reaching 100 followers, I am doing a GIVEAWAY! Meaning it's free. I'm giving away free stuff. Because I like all of you. ANYONE can enter! You don't have to be a follower or Twitter or a member of Etsy!

Here's what you're doing. All you have to do in order to enter is reply to this entry with your name and email or Etsy name (I'll email you if you've won). I also want you to tell me what you would like to see in my Etsy shop. A certain style of clothes pins? Photography? Bridal shower invitations? What?

Name:
E-mail/Etsy:
What you want to see in the shop:

I will then pick THREE winners at random! I know! Three! Didn't expect that, did you? I will e-mail those three to let them know they have won and we will go from there.

PRIZES.

1st place: A set of 6 free Thank You cards (currently featured HERE though colors are open to change)
2nd place: A set of 3 free Thank You cards (same as above)
3rd place: A set of 2 free summer-inspired cards.

1st Prize (6):

2nd Prize (3):
3rd Prize (2):

RULES.
1. You can only reply once to the post with your entry.
2. HOWEVER, if you Retweet my Twitter post about the contest, come back and post AGAIN and tell me you have Retweeted (give your Twitter name).
3. You can get up to THREE extra posts for Retweeting. No more than three.
4. This contest is only open to USA residents--sorry international friends!
5. You do not have to follow on Twitter or be a member of Etsy to enter.
6. Contest ENDS Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 11:55pm.

Questions? Just ask below, on Twitter, or Convo me on Etsy!

_______________________________________

Cards not for you? Check out my selection of decorative clothes pins on Etsy! For readers of this post only: Buy one set of clothes pins, get TWO free pins with your order! Two. Free. Just write 2freeplz in your buyer comment!

Etsy!

2010-06-03T17:27:00.007-04:00

As some of you may have noticed, there is now something new in the left hand bar. That's my shop. Well, part of it anyway. I have recently opened a shop on etsy.com. If you don't know, Etsy is similar to ebay in that people can sell things online, but with Etsy everything is in one of three categories: Vintage (20+ years old), Supplies (like brads for scrapbooking), or handmade. I spend hours just surfing through the site (I am using the excuse of planning a wedding, but really, who am I kidding?) because the people are so talented.

I have opened my own shop. Right now what I have are custom clothes pins. That might sound weird, but I think they're really cute and they have so many purposes. For example, I have some for a Baby Boy (could use for a baby shower, to hang up said boy's clothes, or as a keepsake for Mommy) and a set of Patriotic ones for the 4th of July to hold up that famous sauce recipe.

It is ridiculously liberating to have my own shop, and very exciting. The fees are small and the excitement is overwhelming. I love to do crafts, so this is a wonderful outlet.

So here's the deal with the shop: I do custom orders. See one you really like and want a bunch? I'll give you a discount. Want special favors for your awesome party? I can do that. They're so cute for so many things. My favorite idea has been getting adorable ones or plain colors and using them to hang escort cards at weddings. Ding ding!

Here are some of the current pins up for sale:

COMING SOON:

Feel free to stop by and take a look and ask questions, request, etc. I'm having so much fun with this and I hope you enjoy them.

My Etsy Shop: Brixton Studios

Relaxation Challenge

2010-05-30T16:49:00.002-04:00

I think the hardest challenge of trying to find a steady source of income and pay the bills, is finding time to stop stressing about it. For weeks now, though I have been doing side jobs and getting a few extra dollars, I could hardly find the time to stop freaking out about the instability my life had become. Granted, I love the new changes and challenges, but for several days at a time my life had been consumed by job-hunting, interviews, filling out applications, and being nervous about it. I even got to the point where I felt guilty if I spent leisure time in front of the television. To counter-act this, I filled out online applications as I watched such movies as Sense & Sensibility, The Producers, and The Princess Bride.

I knew, though, that when I came up to the cottage this weekend I would be forced into relaxation. The mere thought filled me with joy because I hadn't relaxed in weeks. When I got up here, there were no deadlines or applications, just sunshine, a pontoon, campfire, and cottage of goodies.

I felt almost awkward for the last 24 hours, floating on an inter-tube in the sun and reading the Jane Green novel I haven't gotten to (I feel horrible, it came out last summer and I usually read her books right away). Last night I even slowly leafed through an old The Knot magazine. No work. No articles. No applications.

Granted, I know on Tuesday it will be right back to the grind, but for now I'm forcing myself to stay away from work. Everyone needs a little time to relax and take their mind off of stress.

So my challenge to you:

Relax. Set aside a significant chunk of time (at least a couple hours) and do something you normally wouldn't get around to doing. Read a book that has been collecting dust because you've been reading all the academic books for school. Put on your apron and bake that super ultimate fudge cake with soft jazz in the background. Splurge on a Cosmo, US Weekly, or whatever else floats your fancy and sit out in the sun for a while. Just relax and remember what relaxation feels like.

It's calming.

Movie Dates

2010-05-21T14:57:00.003-04:00

There is a giant elephant in the room when talking about going to see movies. You can't go alone, but some people whine about the movie choice and you're forced to see something bloody when the thought of it makes you queasy. Larger groups make things even worse. Maybe there is even a hand-raising vote on things and someone stomping their foot.

I'm here to tell you something.

You can see a movie alone. Hell, you can even go with a friend/boyfriend/worst enemy to the theater and see separate movies. You probably think I'm crazy, what's the fun in going to a movie alone? You won't have anyone to whisper about the previews with (the people in front of you will thank me).

The perk: You get to see the movie you want to see instead of shelling out money for a different one. You don't faint because there's blood. You get to make your own choices. Sure, you might want to give it up and see what the other person wants to see, and that's fine, but don't do it because you feel socially awkward seeing something by yourself.

Get some guts and try it.

Don't want to go that far first? Well, practice. Go out to eat by yourself and get a cozy booth at McDonalds. Then try an actual restaurant. Still freaked out? Sit at the park by yourself and read a book. I'm sure you'll find it's quite peaceful and relaxing.

Get some alone time, even if it is watching a movie in a theater full of people. It's "you" time.

Recipe: Tuna&Mac&Cheese&Cinnamon&CoolRanch

2010-05-19T00:55:00.002-04:00

Since moving into my new apartment, I've had to finally start cooking. Yes, after four years of living in residence halls with no kitchen, I have my own kitchen. This comes complete with cookware, interesting utensils, and a bunch of stuff I've never cooked before. So below is something I think you should try, whether you're in high school, a recent college grad, or you have some kids craving something different.

Mac&Cheese&Cin&Cool Ranch

Sounds weird, I know. It is. Don't knock it till you try it.

First, pretend you're making mac&cheese. Well, don't pretend. Actually make it. Boil yourself some water. After you pour the noodles in, add some salt so they don't stick to the pan. Then add some pepper. Stir that around for about a minute. Then (this part gets tricky) add a few shakes of cinnamon. Yeah, I said that. Cinnamon. It will smell wonderful. You're probably really confused, but trust me. It's so good. I did it on accident last year and now I can't eat it without.

When you're done and you're adding in all the cheese and milk and butter, put in a can of tuna (please drain it first). You need protein, right? It's yum!

After that is done, spoon some of that out onto a plate. Add a handful of Doritos, the Cool Ranch ones. Then you have lunch! Here's what you need to do: Take the Cool Ranch Doritos and literally dip them in the mac&cheese like you would with salsa. Put the noodles right on top and take a bite. It adds a little crunch to it. Delicious.

Like I said, don't knock it till you try it, but that's an easy lunch idea for someone who is just getting used to a kitchen or someone who doesn't want to go through making something elaborate one night.

Happy tuna noodle making!

A little reason why

2010-05-12T21:08:00.003-04:00

Once again I'm way too far behind on my Project 2010. This brief post will be somewhat of an update, but I have future awesome posts planned so don't worry. Anyone from HPFF can see why I have not been updating there either, which is a shame.

I graduated Saturday, May 8, 2010 with a Bachelors degree.
I then moved into my first apartment (boxes are heavy).
Following both, I then got engaged.
Afterward, I am continuing to unpack and job hunt.

So yeah, that's what I've been up to the last couple days. I'm planning a graduation party for this Saturday, which should be a lot of fun. I can't believe how busy and exhilarating this week has been.

Up next in Project 2010:
Recipes for apartments
Encouragement
Inspiration

On the Edge of the Step

2010-04-26T06:37:00.003-04:00

I feel like I haven't been this tired in ages. Not just recently, in ages. To top it all off, the stress of the end of the semester is starting to hit me. That's never good, am I right? I feel like I constantly have a Post-It note stuck to the back of my hand telling me everything I need to get done before the day is over. Even now, as I write this, I'm supposed to be concentrating on a paper but since I have been at work for almost seven hours and it is very early in the morning I am having a problem doing just that. Can you blame me?

I move into my first apartment on Friday. What a milestone. Cherish them. I felt lucky today after talking to a friend of mine. Her youth milestones were tainted by actions from her family. On days like her prom, graduation, grad party, etc, her family did something to bring her down. And that's how she remembers those days. I've gone through a lot of moments like that, but I am fortunate to either block those out or have them not happen on the day of something significant like that. But Friday should be interesting. We're having a good deal of help (which is nice, because I have tickets to the gun show, but these guns aren't picking up living room furniture).

I also just got back from a trip to South Carolina to see my brother graduate from the Marine Corps. Wowza! Fourteen hours in a car doesn't do very much for your back. Okay, it does a lot, just not in the pleasant way. Mine is in knots which makes it hard to even sit. I think I need to just sleep for a week. But alas, work calls and I am monitoring people coming in and out. At nearly 7am, though, not many people are bright and shiny. Not even me, but I have a feeling that is because of the lack of heat in this area.

But anyway, I suppose this is my apology for the lack of posts lately. I also have a lack of posts on HPFF, which is horrible, but I'm assuming anyone who is in their last semester of college can relate to the unforeseen stress that accompanies it.

I do want to add that on the way to South Carolina and on the way back, I plastered every public restroom I was in with Operation Beautiful notes. I watched someone walk out of the bathroom with one of my Post-It notes. You can even make a difference while going to the bathroom, as strange and sick as it sounds. It made me feel better.

So here I go, back to this beast of a paper, to my final group project, and to everything else that is going to be my downfall for the next two weeks. But that's just it. Two weeks. Two weeks until graduation and I'm finished with college. Wow. The next step is a doosey.

Pride.

2010-04-07T15:45:00.003-04:00

Okay, so this isn't an awesome food post or something completely useful for a residence hall. It's also not a list of sweet books I suggest or even an update into my life. But I've been thinking lately (I know, I should stop). In the last couple weeks and during the span of this April, my life has altered completely. Not in a negative way, but in a positive one.

I'm proud of myself.

Of course, throughout my life, I've always been pretty darn proud of myself. I've gotten myself where I am today. Not to discredit the people that have help (just appreciate it when your parent can help you fill out a FAFSA or move you in to your residence hall), but I have had a constant struggle the last four years. I've self-taught myself most of the things I needed to know, and I was lucky to have the support of a select few people to help me through the rough patches. But looking back, so many of it came directly from me. So many of the job interviews, pay checks, A papers, etc, that came from me. And now I'm starting a new stage of my life. University Graduation. Finding a place to live (for those of you who do not know, I have been a Resident Advisor for the last three years) that isn't in this city. Finding a job steady-income job. Launching my own freelance business. All while completing coursework, having an internship, and finishing out my senior year of college.

So I'm pretty darn proud. I've taught myself all about apartments, about job-hunting and resumes and I've researched for hours about everything I need to do with my freelance business. It's stressful, it makes my head hurt (not to mention the back pains from this uncomfortable desk chair), and it's darn rewarding. So when I accomplish it, that's exactly what it is. My accomplishment. I've worked for what I wanted, and that makes me appreciate it so much more. I just hope people who haven't had to go through the stress that I have can appreciate what they truly have, the opportunity to have a wonderful education or even the skills necessary to find a job in today's economy. Maybe even just the confidence to go out and get it done. Put fear to the side. Do it.

So this is what I want you to do. Be proud of how far you've come. Maybe you're not in college, maybe you're just a teen girl in a club at school. Be proud of it. Maybe you write fan fiction and you have a few followers and reviews. Be proud of that, someone is reading! I am truly thankful to have so many people following and reviewing what I do for fun. It keeps me sane sometimes, which is a cheeseball thing to say, but it's the truth.

And now I'm going to sort of all the things I have to accomplish this evening...then I'll be venturing out into the rain with a large golf umbrella and an uncharacteristic scowl. Can't stand the rain unless it's 80 degrees outside and I don't have to walk to class. One more month of this! haha.

Be proud of what you've done. I'm proud of you.

Read.

2010-04-06T04:14:00.001-04:00

This is an abnormally short post because I need to catch some ZzZz's before going to buy my cap & gown tomorrow, but I have some advice for all of you out there:

Oh, and practice your grammar too!

Challenging.

2010-03-30T13:00:00.005-04:00

Recently, that is what my life has become. One simple word. A hell of a lot of challenging. The preparations for completing college are rigorous and I guess I'm not exactly prepared. Well, I'm more prepared than others, just not as much as I would like to be I suppose. Who am I kidding? I'd like to be fully prepared for everything. But that's not what I'm here to talk about.

Challenge yourself.
What that means, is think about the things you've overcome in your life. I have a full stupid list of things I wish I never had to deal with, that I never had to work my way through (tense shoulders ensued). Maybe you don't have an extensive list. Maybe you just challenged yourself to get a job. To get an A in a class. To take good notes. Did you accomplish these goals? How'd you feel afterward?

I challenged myself to know what I was doing after I walked across the graduation stage. I left it up to other people for a while, emailing out resumes and responding to ads, but I got very little in return. When I say very little, I mean VERY little. And I have a stellar resume (if I can toot my own horn, haha!). So, I took it into my own hands.

How can I get a job myself? Well, I'll tell you. Freelance. Yeah, yeah, the phrase "starving artist" comes to mind. I'll get another temp job as well, just to keep me on my feet, but this way I don't have to freak out to find a good-paying editorial job in a month. Enter: Super Stress. Instead, I own my own company. As of right now, I'm working on the website for my Freelance Writing & Editing business. I'm really excited about it because this is something I want to do. I love editing more than anything and writing is my kind of gig.

It will be a hell of a challenge to wrap my mind around everything--to get clients. But I have the drive. I have the stubbornness (yeah, I'm Italian & Irish). I have the abilities. Plus, it's a way to get my name out there (Dear Readers here from HPFF: Wish my name could be out there on HPFF, but site regulations forbid me from it, but if you're one of my readers from there you get severely discounted rates if you need an editor/writer for something).

I'll be posting more about it later when I get everything set up, but for now just know something good can come from challenging yourself. Take matters into your own hands.

By the way, in line with taking matters into my own hands, I have an appointment to view an apartment Friday. It has been so many years since I have lived somewhere that I had my own space PLUS a kitchen. Needless to say, I'm really excited. Twitter will be alive with updates!

And no, I haven't forgotten about your wonderful food posts! In one of the next posts, great recipes where you only have to tweak one or two things to get a different/great taste! Look forward to it!

Sneak peak at the new logo (copyright Janice Pisello)

Spring Cleaning

2010-03-22T13:11:00.001-04:00

Lately I've been evaluating the things that occupy my time. Yeah, Facebook still takes up way too much of it (let's face it, I'm a people-watcher so when I'm alone I still want to watch people), but I've realized that by having less time that I (strange, right?) have less time to do other things. It's stressing me out. Not because I need all this extra time to be running around campus doing nothing, but suddenly I don't have time to write for fun anymore. Suddenly, searching for jobs is sucking up all my time and doing homework and making sure I complete all the tasks for all three of my current jobs. Wow. What did I get myself into?

And here's where the Spring Cleaning comes in. I have to decide where my priorities are. And it'll hurt some people, because writing is currently on the back-burner since fics aren't exactly going to pay my bills come graduation in May. They're getting done steadily though. I'm putting job-hunting first. I know I'm going to pass all of my classes, so they go second. I have a serious case of senioritus, so I should probably care more, but you know...I don't.

I devote a lot of time to my internship and other two jobs each week, though not as much as I would like to. I can't do much about that. I do have to cut things out of my life though. Sit in front of the television and veg time has all but disappeared. I haven't watched TV for a while unless it is on the weekend in someone else's room. I haven't had a movie night or a tv show night (all the ones I watch are over for the season until Glee comes back), the extra time is all devoted to working out since that is something I am dedicated to this semester.

Yeah, I said working out. Like I said before, I've been doing a lot of it this semester and I've lost an inch and a half off my hips already. Go me! I'm really proud of myself.

I also need to be spring cleaning in terms of my honesty. Though I'm always honest, sometimes I sugar-coat things so they don't hurt people's feelings. I need to start recognizing that it doesn't matter what every single person thinks of me and I don't have to win people over. I hate that I do that, but this is an opportunity for me to fix it.

Oh, and I need to do the regular "spring cleaning." You know, the cleaning part? Yeah. WYMO is going to get a generous donation when I move out in May.

Stay tuned for an overly-nostalgic post in the near future.

Say Thank You

2010-03-13T20:42:00.003-05:00

Sometimes it's hard to take compliments. A sheepish, eye-downcast "thank you" works. Or if someone sends you something. If you're graduating and someone gives you that card packed with cash you've been wanting. Oh, that's nice. Or your bestie remembers you've been wanting that cute necklace in the store window and gets it on a whim. Or your significant other brings you flowers (crap, find a vase).

A lot of these things are personal. It's not just someone handing over stuff they don't use any more because they need someone to take it off their hands. They purchase/find/make these things because they know it will make you happy (especially that money, let's be honest). They do it for you .

So say thank you.

But don't just say thanks with a big toothy grin and take the gift. Give them something back. Yeah, I know you can go to any Target or Walmart and pick up a pack of generic blue and white or whatever color Thank You cards you can write your name in and throw a stamp on--BAM out the door. I even have a package of them. But I shouldn't.

We should all make something more personal, just like they took a moment to think of us. So get some paper from the scrapbooking section of a store (might I suggest Hobby Lobby or Jo Ann Fabrics? I find Michaels a little pricey. Hobby Lobby always has awesome sales), cut some shapes and letters, and go all stick-glue on it like you are back in elementary school.

Why should you take the time out of your busy life to do this (and let's face it, none of us REALLY have time for this)? I'll tell you why. Because it means something to people. When people get something they know you took time out to do...they keep things like that. I know I do. I have a shoebox full of things people have done for me like that. It really means something and makes someone's day, especially if you throw something in there like an inside joke or funny picture. Or even if it's a relative for that well-earned cash, put in a recent photo of yourself. Relatives love that.

Okay, so maybe I've convinced you of its merits. But how can you fit this into your day? Let me tell you. Get that paper. The glue. The scissors (don't run with them though). Maybe some awesome Sharpies. So get a tray (tv tray, one of those neat trays from IKEA, or even a big board) or sit at a desk. Planting yourself in front of the television is probably the easiest because you're watching something you'd probably usually watch (Greys? Bad Girl's Club?) but you're getting something done in the process. You can also turn on some music or put on headphones and go into a zone just to relax for a while.

What part of your day is wasted? If none at all, I think some things can be moved around for a little relaxation time with the Thank You notes. It means something. So whether you will do it or not, saying thank you with something special is probably a good idea. Sites like Better Homes and Gardens and all sorts of craft sites have ideas other than the ones I posted.

Have you ever made anything like this? Cards or whatnot?

Sticker Sisters

2010-03-10T21:01:00.003-05:00

I don't know about all of you, but I had one hell of an eighth grade year. I remember cliques, rejections, and yeah, even breaking my ankle. Ariel Cox didn't have such a good eighth grade experience either. She went through most of the same things (okay, I don't think the ankle breaking was on her agenda) and survived the same way most of us did--through communities of similar people. My friends helped me through it, and she found communities of girls through reading zines (they're magazines geared toward a specific audience, mostly homemade and very similar to fanzines).

When she went on to high school, she wanted to give back to the people who helped her. She started Sticker Sisters, which, twelve years later, is still going strong. Sticker Sisters is a site where merchandise (at first just stickers, but now loads of things like shoelaces and buttons) is sold to empower women. She started out with sayings like "Girls can do anything" and "Punk Rock isn't just for your boyfriend," and now there are popular stickers that say "This Insults Women" that girls can place on magazine images or anywhere else they feel women are being objectified.

First of all, I think this is so inspiring, don't you? This reaches out to so many girls. Girls that are already confident and will wear the shirts declaring "Feminism runs in my family" and maybe girls that don't talk much but hate that their bodies are objectified on a daily basis by media.

Now I don't want to go all "feminist" on here, because realistically, that's not who I am, but just to give people the option is wonderful. Sticker Sisters has a blog, a Twitter, and numerous other things you should all check out and spread the word about.

Check them out. http://www.stickersisters.com/

What message would you put on a sticker?

What You Have.

2010-03-05T21:31:00.002-05:00

So here's what I'm thinking.

It's so easy to think about what you don't have. In American society, it's all about what we want--what we lack. That's easy. I don't have a job for after graduation yet. I don't have health insurance. I don't have a car. I don't have that cute handbag in the window. I don't have a lot of stuff.

Fortunately, I do have a lot of things. That is something that seldom occupies my mind, what I do have. I am such a lucky person, growing up the way I did to be able to have what I do now. I try not to think about the crazy journey I took to get this far in life. Most people I know have no clue what happened, nor do they know the little snippets of memories I keep very hidden, but it was quite the dangerous and tragic journey. But I have a lot of things.

I'm healthy. Okay, so I have wisdom tooth problems and my immune system isn't the best, but I'm okay. I am about to graduate from a four-year state university with a Bachelors degree in Creative Writing. I have some of the most amazing friends in the world. I have parents that support my choices, even if they don't coincide with their own values. I have things, as materialistic as that sounds. I have taken trips to California and New York City. I am happy with my life.

Sometimes it's so easy to want and know that you lack things that you want, but I think sometimes it's even more important to think about what you do have. And be thankful for it. Whether you believe in God and you're thankful to God, or if you don't and you're thankful to others for helping you and to yourself for getting as far as you have.

So take a step back. Evaluate where you are.

Look at how far you've come.

Then look at how far you have the potential to go.

Taking One for the Team

2010-03-03T14:18:00.002-05:00

I have a flaw.

That flaw can also be a really good thing at times. I am horrifyingly stubborn sometimes. I don't like to ask for help. I don't like going against what I believe in. I don't like coming out on the bottom of an argument. I really makes me feel awkward and like I lost something. I guess I'm a little competitive, but when I let someone else "win" it seems almost as if there was no point to my arguing in the first place and when I argue, I want it to mean something since I don't do it often. It is also a failed attempt. I hate failure. It alone is my biggest fear.

So this is what I am trying to instill in myself:

I am trying to make myself realize (through trial and error of course) that taking one for the team is okay. Letting someone else win is okay if it's for the sake of the argument, or your friendship, or your relationship. Sometimes people talk in circles and nothing you can do can change their mind. So taking a step off your soap box can really help.

That is extremely difficult for me to do, but I'm learning sometimes it's necessary.

I guess I just needed to ask myself a question. Is a friendship worth what I'm arguing about? Is a relationship worth this? Is my sour mood for several days worth this particular topic? Sometimes it is. But a lot of the time it isn't and I just need to take one for the team and shut up, say I'm sorry, and move on. As hard as it is not to hear an apology back. It stings. I guess what I'm trying to do is suck up my pride. And those of you who know me and even those of you who don't (and are my readers) you know I have a hell of a lot of it.

I need a bigger straw.

Omegle it Up

2010-02-27T16:09:00.002-05:00

So...I might have been falling behind on this a little.

Okay, can you blame me, though? Between this internship, schoolwork, two jobs, and a social life (and believe it or not, I do have one of those, haha) this thing has been a bit neglected. Not in the way that "forget this junk" is prominent, but I've been thinking about things to write about. So today we're going to go riiiiiight back to my New Years resolution.

Anonymous Good Deeds.

The other day I was on Omegle. For a short while, I was absolutely addicted to it and the thought of meeting people from so many different places. I talked to people from Romania, Germany, the UK, Australia, Canada, and loads of other places. I even met someone who has grown into a very good friend from Sweden. So yeah, you find those creeper guys who ask for nude pics or just want to have cyber sex, but then again there's a chance you'll find someone really interesting to talk to. I talked to a guy for a long time who was from China and was trying to save up enough money to visit the United States. The girl from Germany asked me about American stereotypes and if they were true.

Then I met this young girl. She is from the United States and I figured I'd talk to her for a little bit. At first, she told me she was fifteen, but later I found out she was twelve. This girl wanted guy advice from me since I'm in a relationship and apparently I know a lot about guys since I'm twenty-one, haha. Guys are still a mystery to me, free drinks or not.

This girl asked about her boyfriend, who is seventeen. First of all, I was a little floored to know this girl had a boyfriend who was five years her senior, but I let that part go. Love knows no boundaries? Not sure. I do want to meet this guy's friends though and see what kind of shit they give him for it. Anyway, apparently he wants to have sex. They are "sexually active" without actually having sex right now. So wanted my advice. Should she have sex?

This girl had no idea who I was. She was asking for my advice on something very serious. This meant a lot to me. So I gave her my advice. We talked about it for a while, the pros and the cons and yeah, she got a little defensive and I got a little impatient, but it worked out. She decided to take my advice. And I couldn't be happier. She's twelve. She needs to BE twelve or this is going to end up as an episode of Twelve and Preggo.

So there is another anonymous good deed for me. Helping a girl make a choice between what she thinks she wants and what is right.

I feel accomplished.

I think the next few updates will have things to do with food, exercise, and various other things. Sorry it took me so long with this one.

But tell me, how is your New Years Resolution coming?

My Valentine's Flowers

Operation Snow Beautiful

2010-02-10T03:50:00.006-05:00

Why, helloooooo snow day.

Okay, it wasn't a legitimate snow day. Universities always toy with your mind that way. Instead, we had morning classes (well, I didn't because my earliest class was 2:30 and my prof emailed to cancel) but anything ending or starting after 5 was canceled. Class where I had a paper due? Ding ding. It was done already, that's fine, but that's not the point.

The point is it has been snowing for about 24 hours and I didn't have to go to class.

Instead, I pulled an Elementary-School and went and played in the snow, equipped with camera and eskimo hood. That's not politically correct, so I'll call it my huge hood with fake fur lining the sides that makes me look like a stereotypical Inuit person. But that's a stereotype. Get to know people for their personalities. But that was my coat. I slid down a giant hill (thank you, snow, for capturing just the right angle to go up the back of my shirt) and came back exhausted.

So after that was the Operation Beautiful program. I knew I wanted to put on a program that dealt with the site because they send out such a positive message to not just women, but all people. The program was a great success and even though all 600 people didn't come flying down the stairs (can you blame them? It was a SNOW DAY!), it was amazing to be able to talk about making a difference. I had loads of people making multiple Post-Its. Some of them donated them to me since I keep a book with me and hang them randomly wherever I am, and a lot of them kept their own notes to hang.

It's great not only to make a difference, but to teach others how to do it as well.

Then we did a midnight run of Pita Pit (it was still $5 Pita Tuesday) and in the middle of our pitas, we stared talking about the only hill in Bowling Green. The golf hill. I've never been sledding there even though I've always wanted to, and a friend suggested we make the trip out there. Let me put that into perspective. It was 12:30am. Golf Hill is all the way across campus. Not a 5 minute walk "across campus", I mean we're trucking it pretty far out by the highway to sled down the hill on unnamed sleds. So we left at 1:00am.

I ended up with a wind-burnt face--so worth it. I had such an amazing time even though I got a snow facial every time I went down the hill.

The best part of it is the spontaneity of the situation. How we can just make a choice at Pita Pit, get dressed, and take off toward a 1:00am sledding expedition! That's what college is all about to me. Taking chances. Making mistakes (COLD). Having a great time.

All in all, pretty stellar snow day.

Microwave Meals for the Stove-Deprived

2010-02-05T17:29:00.001-05:00

All right, let's get on board with these microwave treats! Thanks to Monica, I've discovered a FABULOUS reference for microwave meals. Become a fan on Facebook HERE. There are tons of things in the group, including how to obtain a copy of the book. Yes, there is a BOOK.

First we're going to start with the introduction to Microwave cooking. She has an entire site devoted to it. Almost makes me mad I'm graduating in May...only not really. HERE is the link for the introduction. There you can travel to loads of different tips. The most interesting thing I found is standing time. I always heard things about standing time...blah blah, let the food sit...but BLAH BLAH I'M HUNGRY. They didn't take that into account, did they?

What is Standing Time?

At the end of most recipes you will find instructions to let the food stand for a few minutes. Your microwave oven manual should explain how food continues to cook after it is taken out of the oven. Manufacturers call this standing time, holding time, or resting time, but it is actually residual cooking time, and it is a very important part of microwave cooking. It allows the food to finish cooking and gives the flavors time to blend, thereby improving the taste of the food.

....So that's standing time. It improves the food. It keeps cooking it. So WAIT for a darn minute! Eat a bite of an apple before getting your hands on whatever you're cooking. Pace back and forth. Do some crunches. Kick the wall. Who knows?

Here are some tips directly from the site:

Know the wattage of your oven. Most published recipes are for 700-watt ovens, so if yours is less or more than 700 watts, learn how to increase or decrease cooking times. We provide handy Conversion Charts at this site.
When you try a new recipe, jot down the results right on the recipe so that next time you will know the changes or adjustments you need to make. Cook frozen foods while still frozen unless a recipe gives directions for defrosting.
Use only white paper towels and use them carefully. Don't put one in an empty hot browning dish or place the hot dish on one.
Remove plastic wrap carefully from hot food. Lift up the farthest edge and pull it toward you so the steam will be released away from you.
Use metal measuring cups for both liquid and dry measurements. The glass measuring cups normally used for liquid measurement allow too much variation in amounts, producing variations in result.
Learn to use browning utensils properly. Leave the heated utensil in the oven between steps: it is safer, and heat is not lost by carrying the utensil back and forth.

Interested in the book? Here's what they say about it on the site:
If your microwave's main function in life is to heat leftovers or bake potatoes, Microwave Cooking for One can make you the best cook on the block without sacrificing your time, taste or pocketbook.

Make homemade lasagna, biscuits, cookies, jams — or just fry an egg! The nearly 300 recipes are kitchen tested, easy to follow, and specific, from breakfast foods to midnight snacks. Best of all, you start with a recipe for one, and multiply each dish to make the amount you need — from a hot sandwich to a brunch for the holiday crowd.

The difference between this book and all those others is Author Marie Smith's emphasis on measuring portions, timing carefully, and simply using the correct size dish — all of which she explains clearly. The result is that whatever your degree of culinary skill (or interest!), Microwave Cooking for One makes it easier to prepare great food. Fast! And isn't that why you really invested in your microwave?

Send for your copy of Microwave Cooking for One today, and unchain your microwave oven from leftovers! Get the convenience — and taste — you deserve from your microwave oven.

More will come later, including various recipes and ideas. I thought everyone would be interested in that though. I had no idea there were books out about microwave cooking. Happy "nuking" everyone!

ps. It's blizzarding outside! How is it for you?

Internship

2010-02-03T10:53:00.002-05:00

Short post today:

I GOT THE INTERNSHIP!

So I am not an editorial intern for Fitsmi.com.

I am SO excited!!!!!!!

Thanks for the support, everyone!

Charts!

2010-02-02T02:04:00.003-05:00

Okay, so truthfully I should be reading a book I really need to finish by...well, I should have it finished already. Darn you, senioritus. Curse you.

Anyway, after an amazing workout today (which had to be cut short due to my strange liking of the show The Bachelor) the bestie and I decided it was time to put a plan of action into effect. So we took our measurements (which was entertaining) and made a chart to keep us on track with working out through the week.

I made three separate charts (which took me longer than planned, thank you SO much formatting). The first chart was a weekly chart where we combined the weekly totals of minutes logged on elliptical machines and stair masters, laps jogged, and the number of sit ups, crunches, and other oddies we did. The second chart was a daily chart just in case we didn't go the rec that day, but did sit-ups in our rooms. The third is a chart of our measurements and what they will be each week. I did weight, waist/hips, bust, and pant size (the pant size only appears once a month on the chart).

I'm actually really excited about this. I don't like working out...at all...but I really think that this will make me excited about doing it. I want to constantly outdo myself and what better way to do that than on paper? I can track my progress and work harder if I don't like what I see. I would love to start staying longer at the rec if I can get my life a little more organized. But today was the FOURTH DAY in a row I went. I am so proud of myself. So darn proud!

I am also continuing to eat healthy and love life. Other than not having things lined up for graduation and dropping WAY too much money on bills today, things are going fabulous. So many small steps to being a happier, healthier me!

Strangely, this type of stuff helps me with writing too. I plan out chapters, and it gets me so exciting about upcoming chapters that I love writing the current ones. It's fabulous.

I'm designing my own graduation party invitations and this is one of the six pictures I am ordering in the wallet size. I touched it up in Photoshop and I think it looks rather nice. I get stupidly giddy when I get to design my own things.

Exercise Update

2010-01-31T14:37:00.003-05:00

My abs hurt. Like whoa.

This is the direct result of working out two days in a row (about to be three later on tonight). So far this semester it has been a lot of "on and off" because of getting into the gears of the schoolwork and all that. But now I have mapped out a "workout schedule" and hopefully I can go more weekends when I don't have immediate plans. It also helps I don't have class on Fridays.

So my workout goodness consists of some practicing Wallyball for a while and doing a lot of exercises (sit-ups, crunches, leg lifties, anything that makes my face look like I have an alien coming out of my stomach). We steal mats from outside the dance room and drag them into the Wallyball court because I am still self-conscious about people watching me do crunches. It's too crowded on the upstairs mats anyway.

Then I go upstairs and do a walk/jog thing on the track. Yesterday, I saw a girl who had thighs the size of my ankles. And my ankles aren't big. It freaked me out. The girl ran laps around me, but what I really wanted to do was give her a Big Mac and send her on her way. It was really scary. I felt like she could just be snapped like a twig. That's not healthy.

After laps, I head for the elliptical or stair master. Friday it was 10 on the elliptical and yesterday it was 5 on the stairmaster for two reasons. 1. I had to get back in the building before I was on duty. 2. I realized I can only do five minutes of that insanity before I need water. Unfortunately, my water bottle was at home. That's what I get for having a wake-up call in the morning and being disoriented. Granted, it was 11am, but that's too early for me.

Every once in a while that will turn into weights downstairs or the yoga ball or the medicine ball. Kristina has been teaching me loads of new things to help tone my body. She played basketball so she knows these things :)

So this will be my third day of consecutive exercise. Surprisingly enough, I'm excited about it. It has been...well, I've never been excited about exercising. I want to keep "upping" what I do, trying new things and making it more difficult over time. I'm just trying that whole "time management" thing with this. It's difficult, and I think that's what I like about it.

There's my exercise and health update. Things are going great!

You know why? I have a suspicion it was because for the first year in a long time, it's not my New Years resolution. The other good news? My New Years resolution is going fantastic. I'm even doing an RA program on Operation Beautiful. Just finished 60 Post-It advertisements for it.

How is your New Years resolution going?

Secrets in the Stalls

2010-01-27T18:05:00.003-05:00

There are two stalls in one of the buildings here on campus where people regularly write things. Yeah, it's painted over all the time but it's tradition now. They are the same stall, just one floor apart. Each time I head in the bathroom I try to snag one of these stalls because sometimes what people write anonymously is more meaningful and heart-wrenching than what they say. People are afraid of judgment.

There is a lot more writing in the stall downstairs--song lyrics, motivational phrases, quotes, favorite movies. But upstairs is predominantly secrets. I was surprised at first, but not shocked. Quite a few were confessions about cheating on boyfriends, some with added "and I don't regret it." Others talked about how they wanted to be skinner. Or they never thought they'd be good enough. Or they weren't beautiful.

My mind is still a bit numb from watching the conclusion to West Side Story today in class (if you haven't seen it, PLEASE watch it). Every time I watch that ending I cry. Maria is so real talking about Tony. It's heart-wrenching, just like it is reading these confessions from real college students that are self-conscious or holding secrets. It feels so much better to let it out.

Everyone has secrets. Even me. I have tons of them. Some of them I've never told another person in my entire life. You know who I'm going to tell, though? PostSecret.

That bathroom stall might be a little unorthodox and replaced by paint, but it's our own campus version of PostSecret. I think I'll continue to post OperationBeautiful notes in there and hope someone sees them. At least maybe I'll help one person. That's all I really need to do.

Since I have class in that building every day Monday-Thursday, I plan on trying to write down some of the secrets. I'm so inspired by this and I really want to write something about it--a story, something. Not exactly like PostSecret, but something similar.

The thing that got me the most is that the people who wrote any of those things could be the people sitting around me in class. The girl that never takes the candy in front of me. The girl who chuckles at bad movie graphics. The girl who I envy for her freedom and she will never know it. Any of these girls could be the ones writing those secrets.

Everyone has secrets. Let them out.

From PostSecret

Sidenote: I also recently discovered Mystery Google where you get the results the person before you typed in. I am in love already. I will post about it soon more than likely. There have been very special results so far.

Letters

2010-01-26T21:06:00.003-05:00

I am a writer. That means I write things. Things that come to my mind--regular old things. I just write them. What I feel, what I think, anything that so much as relates to self expression. Some people don't understand it. I can't even express the amount of times I've gotten the "Well, what are you going to do with that?" when I tell people my major. Well, once it was actually fabulous because when a costumer read my BGSU shirt while checking out at Dollar Tree a few years ago he asked my major. I told him Creative Writing. He instantly gave me his card and through email offered me the position of editor for his website. So ha, job ops! Anyway, it's difficult to be a writer today and any day. The words "starving artist" come to mind.

I don't care. I'd rather starve doing something I love than make boat-loads of money doing something I dread every single day. Sure, I don't expect to get a sweet editing gig right out of college. Maybe I'll do something else for a while and edit on the side. Who knows? But I know I love it more than anything. Writing is the best form of venting.

I also have a few ideas for a novel and extra segments for this blog. I'm going to start introducing segments of me writing letters to people I've encountered. I encourage you do to the same in the comments. The BG News has a segment similar to that called The Falcon Screech. Basically, you write a letter to someone. Like...

Dear Jerk-Face that was in Line Behind Me on a Cell,
I don't care that your buddy felt up some chick at a party this weekend. I also don't care what size "hooters" she had or what skirt she was wearing. I'm trying to think about what sandwich to get. Please keep your personal nonsense to yourself.
Sincerely, Turkey Club

...or a nicer version...

Dear Girl that Helped me Pick up my Books Today,
I've seen you in the back of geometry class. You're the girl that doodles swirls around your triangles whenever the overhead projector is on. I think it has something to do with the hum. You hold your pen loosely and that's sort of how I want to handle life. Loose. Casual. I asked you out last year at the football game but you didn't hear me. You were laughing at a joke and I sort of blurted it out.
Andrew Dip-Shit Marks is the one who threw my books everywhere because I helped Courtney (you know, the girl that is dumber than her pom-poms) with her English homework. I don't think you have trouble with your English homework. Saw your name as the top of the class. I even bet you write poetry, like haikus and stuff.
One of these days I'll muster up the courage to ask you out again. Or at least thank you. You saved my science book from certain destruction by the riotous hooves of Freshmen.

In the sad hallway
Courtney's poms in my blocked ears
you're a ray of sun

Sincerely, The Book of Love

...So yeah, I'm thinking of basing own of my short stories in my novel collection after stuff like this. I need some rando ideas. You don't have to write one, but who would you write a letter to? A sports fan? A television host? The inventor of Spic and Span? How about the love of your life?

Sleep Talking Hilariousness

2010-01-25T23:08:00.002-05:00

I have yet another suggestion for something to make you laugh. And these days, with what is happening everywhere, a laugh is just what we need! I love to follow blogs that make me laugh or that are amusing or informative. I recently was tipped off about a blog featured on television called the "Sleep Talkin' Man". It is beyond hilarious.

Here's what it's about:

"My mild-mannered English husband Adam lives a quite colorful existence in his dreams. Having benefited from hours of delight at his dead-of-night musings, I thought it only fair to share them with the world."

Adam doesn't just talk about silly things in his sleep, he talks about random, wacky and downright hilarious things in his sleep. I laughed at nearly all of them (especially since they're just my sense of humor) and have even aspired to having a character that sleep talks. I might use some of those as inspiration. Here's a few examples to get you HOOKED.

"I do like your eyes. Mmmm-hmmm. Shoved up your fucking ass so I can see the shit you create. Bye-bye!"
"No, not the cats. Don't trust them. Their eyes. Their eyes. They know too much."
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
"Can you hold... can you hold my starfish? It doesn't like it when I'm getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py."
"I feel all rolley polley rolley polley. rolley pony PONY.... Splat!"

So check out Sleep Talkin' Man and have a laugh or two. It's updated daily so that's a great way to start your morning if you're drinking coffee wondering if you really HAVE to go to class or if you can skip. Luckily my classes don't start until 2:30, but that question still goes through my mind every day. Bummer.

Long Term

2010-01-25T15:35:00.002-05:00

I have come face to face with an old foe. Long term goals. Not just goals. I can handle goals. But I am that person that completes most of the work due the night before or at least the weekend before. You can't really do that with a novel. Just saying. I'm not talking about writing a novel, I'm talking about reading them (unless it's Harry Potter, then that's devoured in a matter of hours). For a course this semester, I have to read about a novel a week and it's slowly killing me. I just can't seem to get the motivation to do things ahead of time.

I've always had that problem--writing short stories a few days before they are due, doing activities the night before, writing 10 page papers the night before (I work ridiculously well under pressure, hence my lovely GPA). Of course, if it's something for work or editing a piece of fiction for someone else, it's a completely different story, but for school I'm a procrastinator. It works though. Only not with this fiction class where I have to read everything and its uncle. I'm going crazy. I haven't even gotten the book in the mail I need for class tomorrow. That should be wonderful. I'll have to think on my feet in order to participate, but that won't be the first time.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around long term goals. Writing a real novel (which is why I might go with a collection of short stories first, we'll see). Getting these novels read. Job hunting.

Where do I want to be in five years? Seven? Ten?

The sad part is, I'm so inspired to write right now. I have ideas scribbled out all over my notebook. But I feel too tense to let it out. Maybe I'll try tonight during my work shift or after class. I have so much inspiration coming from everywhere--inspiration from people, from nature, from reading things online. I want to write about it all.

I should really try to write a few poems. I haven't written poetry since my poetry workshop last Spring and I was just starting to get good before I stopped. I have to get back into it. It scares me, though. It's daunting. But since when has anything daunting stopped me? I have come so far from kicking "daunting" to the curb and doing my own thing. Maybe this February I'll create my own poem a day challenge, just to see if I can do it. It would be good for me. Poem a day, flash fiction a week. I have to keep writing. But I haven't "stopped writing", so that's even better!

I can't believe it really feels as if I'm out of my writing rut. A bit of confidence and good deeds is all it takes. Ironically, I'm listening to the Wicked soundtrack and the song lyrics are, "No good deed shall I attempt to do again"...but then again I guess I'd say that too if my lover was just taken away to be killed.

Tonight The Buried Life is on MTV at 10pm Eastern Time. I would suggest checking it out.

Bandwagon Stumble and Beauty

2010-01-25T00:16:00.004-05:00

Effffffffffff.

I briefly fell off the bandwagon, but then jumped back on. It's okay, I promise. Just a little pizza scare. You know, after my whole post regarding pizza as a plethora of greasy amazingness, I caved. Let me tell you what happened. I was fortunate enough to have a graduated friend visit for the weekend (which made me miss my former Falcon friends even more) and we had some fun. There were amazing hockey games, looking through photos, and even heading out to visit downtown Bowling Green (which resulted in more funny photos). When we got back from the hockey game Saturday we were exhausted and the idea of getting up at 7:30am the following day for a set of RA interviews was daunting (to say the very least, since I am not well acquainted with 7:30. I'd much rather sleep with it. Do you see what I did there?).

So when a friend offered up paying for a delicious large pizza to eat while watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...well, I did it. I ate that sucker and I'm not taking it back. With ranch dressing.

But you know what, it's okay to fall off the bandwagon every once in a while. It wasn't such a fall that I was like "see you later! I'll hang out back here!" It was more of a "eat it in moderation" sort of thing. And I enjoyed it. And now I'm done for a while (at least I stayed away from the Chinese food). So the lesson of this blog is: you can stumble, but don't crash and burn. Try a piece of fish from Long John Silvers every once in a while. But then go to the rec. Be healthy.

There's one more thing I'd like to share in this post, something that has been tugging at me since Friday night. I am still having a problem with body image, but not to the extent before. Don't get me wrong, I by no means have a problem with "fat talking" myself. I do not think I'm "fat", but I sometimes catch myself going right back to the way I used to use my body for attention in places like bars or whatever. I did that again this weekend, on Friday.

And then something amazing happened.

While at the crowded bar (full of girls I secretly envy physically, but never mentally or emotionally) I told myself (internally or I would have gotten weird looks) that I am beautiful. Sure, there are things any person would change given the chance. But I am beautiful. Immediately I loosened up. Who was I trying to impress? Not the falling over drunk in the corner. Not the creeper dancing. Not even the cute sports guy at the bar ordering shots. I was there for me and my friends and we were having a great time. Once I noticed that yes, I was beautiful, I stopped being so tense and observant, threw back a couple shots, and hung an Operation Beautiful post-it in the bathroom so maybe another girl can notice. It was there by the time I left.

Even in the most pressured of situations, people should tell themselves they're beautiful. It's the truth, but sometimes it's difficult to remember surrounded by the "ideal representation" of what the female form should be. Things like boys picking and choosing girls based on makeup and waistline don't help, but then again...it's a bar. Do you expect to have intelligent conversation and find someone wonderful there? Probably not. Maybe, though. Just maybe.

Beauty is such a difficult thing to comprehend, but it isn't just physical. When I see the way my boyfriend looks at me I know I'm beautiful. Inside and out. It's not just boyfriends--your friends know you're beautiful. Your family knows it. And no, it's not just because "they have to think that."

Be healthy. Not skinny.

2010-01-22T15:45:00.002-05:00

Brief post today about something very dear to me. While looking through OperationBeautiful today, I noticed a little snippet emailed by someone and it hit home:

Courtney wrote, “I just wanted say how much Operation Beautiful has helped me. Ever since I was little, I was always the “ugly duckling”. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, and I tried to make myself prettier by losing weight. Enter: anorexia. It’s taken me almost 3 years to recover, and once I reached a healthy weight I thought I could be happy again. I took up running and fell in love- I was strong and healthy. But, I started to have heart problems, and today my cross-country coach told me he won’t let me run a race for another week. I broke down. My friends supported me, but I still could not stop crying. When I came home, I stumbled upon your blog and saw the pictures of the Operation Beautiful notes. I cried again, but this time it was tears of joy. I don’t remember the last time someone told me I was beautiful—even though I don’t know any of you personally, you made me feel good about myself for the first time in a long time. Thank you so much!”

Though I never had a problem with anorexia, I really feel for Courtney. She is a powerful person with amazing friends. The last line (in bold) I think has the most power. She doesn't know anyone on OperationBeautiful. I've met so many amazing people online and so many years ago it was taboo and, frankly, dangerous. But I disagree. I've gotten into contact with several people that read my stories and I've changed for the better with each one and each story. Some people are from Canada...other parts of the United States...England...Australia. I learn so much about culture and people and with some of them, I actually forget I haven't met them in person. You can build a friendship through words. Words are powerful.

Just like a website or community of people can help Courtney get through everything that is happening in her life. She's beautiful.

I had a problem when I was younger and going through that time in my life where it meant a lot what other people said. Unfortunately, I was one of those oh-so-lucky girls that got stuck with the nickname "Butter Face". If you don't know what that means, essentially it's someone who has a hot body "but her face" isn't as pretty. Butter face. To this day, when I hear that it makes my blood boil. I recently wrote a story about it, which helped me out a lot.

No girl should ever have to go through hearing that, especially overhearing it in a conversation. It really did damage to both my self esteem and confidence. It made me believe I was not as pretty as other people and I had to use my body to get attention. Which I did. And now, looking back, the people that gave me that attention were people I didn't need it from. They were the people that didn't appreciate me for me. It took me a long time to learn that, until I found someone that didn't care what I looked like. I'm beautiful.

I've changed my "losing weight" goal, to "getting healthy", and I'd recommend it to everyone. We're all beautiful just the way we are. Don't change yourself to impress other people. If they want you to, they're not worth impressing.

one of my notes

Gives Me Hope

2010-01-21T18:32:00.003-05:00

Do you get bored a lot? I know I do. In my Youth and Pop Culture class the other day we discussed how when the youth (college kids included) get bored, creative things happen. This refers to everything--kids find ways to get out and go do drugs or drink or get into trouble. Some people (like Mugglenet founder Emerson Spartz) create websites or social networking for people to meet other people. When I get bored (or I'm procrastinating, I'll admit it) I turn to the internet.

There are several sites I've found that simply waste time and teach you random bits of information you will probably never need, but maybe... For example:

StumbleUpon
TextsFromLastNight
FMyLife
MyLifeisMagical
AverageWizard (for fans of Harry Potter)

Lately, and I'm sure you've seen in previous posts, I've been finding more inspirational sites. Well, I've happened upon another one. I will admit, I'm a bit of an emotional person, but I don't like showing it. I don't do the whole "hug" thing, unless it's with a friend. I'm distant from some people, which is because of how I was raised. I do cry while watching The Notebook and P.S. I Love You, though. I'm a softy.

I found GivesMeHope today.

I cried for an hour. There were several tissues strewn about my desk from various stories of people that give other people hope. All of these posters--all of these people--they give me hope. Some are random acts of kindness people remember years later. Some are people that just make a difference. Selflessness. I could never begin to say I measure up to any of these people, in fact I've noticed that there are so many other things I could do other than worrying about myself and where I'm going. I immediately thought of a few GMH's to put on the site. When I was walking to class today, I cut through some buildings and hung post-its for Operation Beautiful. No extra time, but I bet someone will smile.

Here are a few snippets from GivesMeHope:

"I woke up one morning to hear the birds outside my window and my mother cooking breakfast downstairs. I've never cried so much in my entire life. I had been deaf since the age of 8."

"Freshman year, there was a crippled girl bound to a wheelchair. For 4 years, she did physical therapy and progressed to crutches. When we graduated a few weeks ago, she handed her crutches to an officer and walked across the entire stage. The applause from the seniors was deafening. She cried the whole way. GMH"

"22 years ago, a 16 year old girl was pregnant with a baby of rape.

Understanding the circumstances, her parents told her to abort or be disowned.

Her best friend - her 18 year old neighbor - although he was not the father, stepped into the father figures shoes. They got married 2 years later.

Mom and dad, your love for me and each other GMH."

So check it out. There are wonderful, beautiful people out there. Is there someone that gives you hope?

You are Beautiful.

2010-01-20T21:09:00.003-05:00

I know lately I've been talking a lot about helping others and way to do good deeds, which isn't entirely what this blog is about, but it is a big part of it and a big part of the change I've had personally the last couple weeks. It all started during training when I folded those cranes and has now spiraled into making me a better person.

Today I found something that nearly brought me to tears. I applied for an internship on a wonderful site (fitsmi.com, a site geared toward teen girls who want to make healthy and lasting choices in their lives) and I was browsing through articles in the "inspiration" section. A lot of these articles were things I either thought about or wrote about in my blog already. I then stumbled upon an article referencing Operation Beautiful, an operation started by a woman named Caitlin to post anonymous notes on mirrors or anywhere people can see them about being beautiful.

This is so inspiring. I know there is a stall in one of the bathrooms here on campus where many girls write messages to one another. There are inspiration messages, silly things, and even things like "Carpe Diem" (seize the day) or quotes from their favorite movies. I even saw a quote from A Very Potter Musical today. People love to help others. If you saw a random note on a bathroom mirror, wouldn't it make you think twice?

If you think it sounds like your kind of place (and I encourage not just young women to check it out, but adults as well), go to Fitsmi and browse around. There are style articles, snippets on inspiration, some on health. It's a great place for support.

Here's the Mission of Operation Beautiful.

So now more and more people are finding these notes and hanging their own and really making people's days or showing someone that they really are beautiful. Beauty is not a number. It's not a size. You really are beautiful.

My favorite note says, "A size or number does not define you. Now go find something that does."

I am now about to be armed with the tools for Operation Beautiful and help them in their operation. This is very important to me, especially since girls (not just teen girls) are very influenced by media, culture, and peers. I'm influenced too. I'm not going to spout off saying I don't compare myself to other girls or watch TV shows jealously. Yes, I want to be healthy. But yes, I also know I'm beautiful because I'm me.

OperationBeautiful.com

I hope you know,

Oh, and as for Fitsmi.com, I got the interview. So cross your fingers.

While You're Here

2010-01-19T00:43:00.004-05:00

Okay, so this is a little quick for a new post (read the previous if you haven't), but something has to be said. Just after 8pm tonight (it's 1am now) I was walking lethargically back from the store. I moseyed around it, grabbing a grape juice. Nothing looked appealing. Nothing looked healthy other than a bag of granola (who eats that stuff?) and skim milk. So I left with the grape juice into the cold and back to my residence hall. Lethargically.

Any motivation I had earlier had seemingly vanished. I went home and finished watching Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakwall and even watched The Bachelor for the first time. Obviously, my procrastination is growing heaps and bounds since I starts years ago. So after that I stumbled upon the premiere of MTV's (don't judge) new show, The Buried Life. The summary of the show is: "Four regular guys on a mission to complete a list of '100 Things To Do Before You Die' and to help and encourage others to go after their own lists." Basically, they do something on their list and for every thing they do, they help someone else complete something off of their own lists. In this episode they did something rather crazy (an obvious hook for a first episode) and partied in the Playboy mansion. They also raised money and purchased a new computer for a charter school nearby that did not have a nice computer.

Sure, MTV probably gave them some cash for gas in their big purple bus and they probably have it easier than a lot of people do, but think about it: they could have just gone after their own list. 100 things. Number 38 is to kiss the Stanley Cup (ironically, that's on my list too). But no, they're helping others on the way. Think about if that was to rub off on other people. Then more people would help other people. And so on and so on.

I think I might make a similar list soon--not a complete list of things I want to do before I die, just things I want to do for others. And for myself. I'll keep you posted, because this blog might be where that stuff ends up going.

Follow The Buried Life on Twitter
Check out their Facebook Fan Page

Anyway, after I saw the episode my mood took a complete turn. Suddenly story ideas were flying through my head. I wrote 6 of them down. I was motivated! I am motivated! I walked down the hallway to go to work with my mind buzzing with ideas about how to help people--about how to tell all of you about it. I suddenly wanted to put all my syllabuses into my planner and work on my Women's Studies homework and write in my journal. I wanted to finish my chapter of BTQC and ask people what it is they want to do before they die?

Or just...what do you want to accomplish while you live?

Any takers?

Fleece for the Less Fortunate

2010-01-18T20:43:00.004-05:00

Next week a few of the RAs and I are putting together a program to make fleece blankets for the less fortunate. They're the kind made from two pieces of fleece tied together. We had a blast cutting them (however lopsided the cutting might have been) and placing different colors together. We even watched The Wedding Date while cutting so the program next Tuesday will go smoothly.

The best part, of course, is doing things for someone else. I suppose my name is on this, but it's basically another anonymous good deed, making these blankets for people I don't know, especially since I won't be delivering them. It's so cold outside. I live in Ohio--it's VERY cold. Okay, so we have nothing on North Dakota and Canada, but still--right now Hawaii is wearing hoodies in the 70s. But here it's really cold and to know there are people there that don't have blankets. Well, now they're going to have some. Even if they're Seattle Seahawks blankets with orange undersides. :) I love the feeling of doing things for other people.

I think another fabulous part of this entire experience is learning something new. I've always been excited to learn new things and those blankets have always looked so neat (I want to make an orange and brown one) and now I know how to make them!

The best idea is something I saw another friend make after she graduated. She sewed on her BGSU t-shirts and made it look amazing.

So, in conclusion to this slightly-random post, doing good deeds for other people, whether it's donating $10 to relief in Haiti or tying together blankets, makes for such a warm, wonderful heart. I'm going to keep trying to do more things, including folding more paper cranes. I need some origami paper. Donate some of your time for others. Some people aren't as fortunate as we are.

BGSU blanket. I'd love to do this.

Being Healthy is Hard...

2010-01-17T20:15:00.003-05:00

...especially when you smell pizza.

I'd like to say during my first week back on campus I've been doing leaps and bounds better than I expected. No, I didn't just quit eating what I wanted cold turkey, but I adjusted my diet. To start, even though dining on campus offers many options, a lot of them are fried, pasta, and a very questionable salad bar. I'm not really a huge fan of salad to begin with (something about the texture gets to me) so usually I wrinkle my nose at it. Well, frequently I do.

The hardest thing has been giving up a lot of things that I love. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, you be the judge) I recently had a wisdom tooth chip down to the nerves, meaning it HURTS. I can no longer have pop because the sugar irritates it, a long with a lot of other sugary things. So even though I'm in a very annoying spout of pain, it's good for the healthy kick. During the weekends, though, most of the campus closes for food. Apparently they haven't had good enough business to keep it open. So therefore I starve. Well, close to it. Most things aren't open (especially this weekend because they assume everyone went home since it's a 3-day-weekend. What they don't get is it's the first weekend of the semester and everyone is here and drunk and hungry) and the only thing open after 7pm is 2.Mato in the Student Union. I have always loved 2.Mato because their pizza is amazing. Really, it kicks the crap out of the new Dominoes (which is FANTASTIC and the last pizza I ate before this healthy kick) and pretty much any other pizza chain (save Ginos and Vitos).

So going there on the weekends is killer because of that pizza smell. You know what smell I'm talking about. That combo of cheese and herbs and the slight hint of mushrooms or pepperoni. Even green peppers smell good on pizza. Insert--test of will power!

So I ordered a turkey provolone panini. I wasn't a huge fan, but it was good and it filled me up and NO PIZZA. I don't know about you, but I'm rather proud of myself. I went back today and did the same thing and once again, no pizza. I was even asked if I wanted to order Chinese today (some of my favorite food comes from those small Chinese restaurants around town) and I declined.

To be honest, it's not about "dieting" or eating an apple for a meal, it's about will power. It's about how bad you want it. Not even "to be skinny" because so many people aren't happy with their bodies--it's being healthy. I want to be healthy. I didn't want it enough in past semesters and now I want it. So much that I went on the stair master at the rec. I think I almost died. More on that later.

Other things I've adjusted is my sides with meals. Before it was mashed potatoes and gravy or mozzarella sticks. Now it's cottage cheese and pineapple or broccoli and ranch dressing. Those of you who don't know, ranch dressing is actually in the category of "good fat" so unless you're eating ranch for meals, you really don't have to worry too much about switching to fat free ranch (that and because it sucks). Sure, don't glop it on so someone asks, "would you like a little salad with your ranch?" but don't suffer over losing it. Ranch is like a friend to me, like a comforting friend...I'd hate to lose it. So I won't.

I've been working out three days a week as well. I'm hoping to keep that going, though my recent wallyball injury has kept me off the court for that. I almost wish I was more competitive in team sports, but more on that later as well. I've realized a lot of things about myself lately just by thinking about it. And I'm not happy looking the way I do since it was my own carelessness that got me here (okay, and the boyfriend asking if I want Wendy's too often because his metabolism is ungodly).

If you really want to undo it, then do it. Just don't do it cold turkey, or you're going to fall right off the bandwagon (like I have done several times). Adjust your eating. Still eat what you like. One of my favorite authors, Jane Green, posted a quote:

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"

I might adjust that to "healthy", but isn't that true? Was that slice of everything-pizza really as good as the feeling I get looking in the mirror modeling a bikini before a romp at the beach? No. And I haven't had that feeling since Wendy's stepped in a few years ago. Oh, no, Wendy's and horrible campus food, I'm fighting back now.

Does anyone have any other stories about staying healthy or dieting?

Procrastination before the Gun Show

2010-01-15T13:34:00.002-05:00

No Friday classes are definitely a good thing. Well, sometimes. Okay, not really. I love not having to wake up and drag myself to a class where I doodle most of the time or plan a story. I also love having the day to do what I want with it. The whole Friday! Yeah, but unfortunately, I don't do much with it. I've been awake for an hour and a half at this point and still haven't accomplished much other than talking to a friend and texting someone to see if they survived our antics last night.

I really should be reading the book I have to read my Tuesday. I should also be writing a little. Finishing up assignments before the boyfriend gets here tonight. Organizing binders. Looking up jobs. Going to work out! But I'm not. I'm blogging. Not that it's a bad thing...because it's not. At all.

So how am I supposed to stay motivated on these Fridays where I have simply too much freedom?

I think the key is setting aside things I must get finished on Friday. Things that have to be done before the weekend--or (like several of my assignments this semester) are due Sunday night. I won't want anything to do with them on Sunday since the boyfriend will be here, so I should finish them Friday.

Have an abstract task (job hunting, writing, whatever it is you're into) that you have to do a bit of on that day off. So...today I have to get some stuff done. Well, later since I have to get food in my stomach and I have to work out. Which I'll definitely do. Gotta work on my guns, you know?

Another thing to do--step away from distractions. As of right now, the only distraction I have is the Internet, and it turns out to be a pretty huge distraction. Darn you, Facebook! And Hockey Pool! And Twitter! And everything else (I even ventured onto Myspace today after not being there for several months...desperation is peaking). Turn off the television. And the DVD player (at least Monica's broke haha). You can keep the radio/music on. I guess. I'll let you.

Maybe even try to make work fun. I hate working out (I'll probably post more elaborately about this at a later date) but if I play wallyball, it's FUN and I don't hate it. It's not boring. Neither is a little bit of harmless gossip while walking around the track (not bad gossip, the kind that's "catching up" with people gossip). Or, my favorite is the exercise bikes that are actual tracks. Wonderful!

This was such a weirdly eclectic post--I promise something more concrete next time. Time to work out for the gun show....yeah right.

Getting over said Rut

2010-01-13T13:02:00.003-05:00

This is me trying to get out of the previously mentioned rut.

I'm looking everywhere for inspiration. Since I have a bit of down time before my 4:30pm class, I wanted to get something done other than Facebooking so I did a little bit of work for my online class. I found my journal from last semester, something that is really dear to me. I've decided to copy a lot of my notes (story ideas, physical descriptions, random words) into my new Moleskine journal to help me get inspired. When in doubt, go back to what inspired you in the past.

Another thing that helps is music. For everyone it's different, but grab some good speakers (the boyfriend helped me with that by giving me his old [still fabulous] ones while he bought new amazing ones) and hook your laptop up. The next step is not caring what your roommate/neighbor things. Crank the Owl City (that's what I'm listening to). Some of the songs have a great bass line.

Writing through it helps as well. Yeah, I look at what I wrote and usually wrinkle my nose because it is not up to my standard, but does that mean I can't change it later? When you know it's not wrong, you know what is right, whether or not you can get it out. Power through it. I'm trying to do that and have plans to power through later tonight. Hopefully I can at least come up with a few good parts and edit from there. You never know if you'll get a spectacular sentence somewhere that you wouldn't have if you didn't power through.

Ask people what they did over break. Usually, you'll get mundane answers like Christmas parties and drunken New Years Eve parties, but there is some really gold to be gathered in those stories. A fight between a significant other? A friend of mine turned a fight into a flash fiction. Did something humiliating happen during that drunk party? How about that "family" Christmas where Uncle Dave brings his own booze, drains it, and then decides it's time to leave even before presents are opened. Use everyone around you. Real life is much more interesting than stretching for something else. Trust me. Plus, added bonus of having readers relate.

Read something. I'm guilty of not reading as much as I should (thank you required texts for college), but even if you can't, use what you can to get ideas. For example, I have to read quite a few things this semester I don't want to, but for my Youth in Popular Culture class I just read an article about teens and sexting. Sure, it's weird, but that might spark any bit of inspiration. I already have an idea for a story I'm going to jot down.

So get inspiration everywhere. I'm already trying to work my way out of this rut early in the winter. I can't let it take me down. Not this year. Besides, I have some sending out to do.

Good luck.

Rut.

2010-01-12T00:41:00.003-05:00

Okay, here it is. I've made it to the place I've been dreading since the wind started to chill in October (causing my Halloween costume to make me FREEZE). I know it happens every winter, specifically around the time I hate it the most, but since I have no workshop courses this semester it isn't going to kill me as much... just make me really angry.

I've hit my writing rut. Like I said, this is an annual winter thing. When the first bit of spring starts, I'll jump right out of it (I even have little peaks in the winter where I can write something halfway decent, but it's rare). Until then, though, I have to deal with the serious lack of motivation making its way through my skull. I just can't write at the moment. Even my fanfic is lacking in pretty much every department. I usually have chapters out every two weeks. It has been several weeks and I haven't finished a chapter. It just isn't...good. And anyone that knows me knows I can't put my name to something that isn't good.

It makes me feel almost worthless, which also isn't me at all. I want to get motivated and productive, but between this bite of rut and the senioritus sucking out my soul, I feel just flat and lax. I feel numb. I hate that feeling.

I'm trying to get inspired again! I have my reviews and my notebooks and all of my awesome detailed notes of things that would make wonderful flash fictions or novels or whatever, but I can't seem to do anything with it. I've just been getting frustrated and writing a few paragraphs here or there. None of it is any good though. My characters have lost their voices. I hate putting things to the side for a while, but maybe that's what I'm going to have to do. Just sit back and let winter engulf me.

Plus, I have so many other things on my To-Do list it's difficult to place things in an order.

Homework first.
Job-Hunting.
Working out/Writing.

This limbo of writing instability is a comfortable place, but I'd rather be finished with it. I want to be back to my old self--tearing it up! Writing about things that make other people uncomfortable. I just need to find that spark again. I'll get there.

Baked Apple Slices...of Amazingness

2010-01-11T00:08:00.003-05:00

Back to the old college grind.

And by that I mean, back to eating out of a residence hall with a kitchen shared with 599 other students (who always seem to want to make frozen pizza when I run out of meal plan and need cheap pasta with mushrooms). Of course, we do have a dining hall downstairs in my building but sometimes the greasy pizza (we use napkins to dab it off) and on-again-off-again ice cream machine aren't quite enough.

Sometimes I want a taste of home without fighting over the kitchen or driving twenty-five minutes to get there (and then it's Toledo so that's just worthless). This past fall I was going to go to the annual Apple Butter Festival and it put me in a very fall-esque mood. All I wanted was something cinnamon or apple or cider-y.

I scoured the Internet and came across Simply Recipes and found something that really did the trick.

Catch, you say? What's that catch? There is no catch, my readers, because you can make it in a residence hall and it's not expensive. Sure, you need a few things but this is well worth the couple bucks.

Without further adieu, here's Mom's Baked Apple Slices

Ingredients

4 cups of peeled, sliced apples - use apples that cook up well, like Fuji or Golden Delicious
3 Tbsp sugar
A sprinkle of cinnamon
1 Tbsp maple syrup

Method

As you slice up the apples, check for their flavor. If they don't taste good raw, believe me, they aren't going to taste good cooked.

Put apple slices in a glass bowl. Sprinkle on top the 3 Tbsp of sugar. Add a light sprinkle of cinnamon. Bake in microwave oven for 5 minutes on high heat. Adjust the time for your microwave and how many apples you are doing. Ours has a powerful high setting so 4 cups of apples only takes 5 minutes. If you use more apples, you will probably need to cook it a little longer. I suggest starting with 5 minutes and testing for doneness with a fork. If it needs more cooking time, give it more. When done, remove and mix so the sugar coats well all the apple pieces. Add maple syrup to taste, about 1 Tbsp.

Serves 1-2. Delicious with whipped cream on top, or with vanilla ice cream on the side.
*~*

I got this directly from Simply Recipes and I tested it out for myself this past fall...several times actually. It's DELICIOUS! It really takes you back to sitting in front of the fire or being bundled up on a chilly night. Perfect amount of comfort in a fruit. I wouldn't cook it quite as long as requested, simply because eventually the apples will start to get soggy, but they're truly wonderful.

So when you pass up the lopsided cheesecake, strange funfetti cake, or pie with more apple out than in, you can head back upstairs add a few things together and have warm, fresh apples. They're good for when you're feeling homesick or down too.

So get warm! (unless you live in a warm climate, then I don't want to hear from you right now since I'm very bitter about it)

The Power of Origami (or just Cranes)

2010-01-09T12:57:00.004-05:00

Today was the day jam-packed with sessions during Resident Advisor training. During fall training, I usually don't look forward to the sessions since, being a third year, most if it is stuff I've heard for the past couple years. During Spring Training, however, I know there will be a few useful things that are also fun. I went to a sustainability session with the "four corners game", something that took me back to junior high when you looked around at everyone else before formatting your own answers. I also went to a "themed duty walks" session with RAs in tutus, which was a lot of fun.

My favorite, though, was called "Folds of Success". I knew it was mildly related to origami, so I thought I'd check it out. To my surprise, I actually learned a lot about service.

There is a story we learned about, based off an old tale about if you make a thousand paper cranes you get one wish. One woman who lived in Hiroshima during WWII was diagnosed with leukemia after the bomb and started to make the cranes. Unfortunately, she only made it to a little over 600 before she was too weak to make any more. Members of the community came together and finished off the 1,000 and now many people do that as service projects. We, of course, related it to residents and introducing them to service projects on a smaller, more manageable level. Just asking someone to learn how to fold a couple cranes isn't like asking them to spend hours building a Habitat house.

It's harder to program in my building, which is fine, but we just have to think of different ways to do things. We're probably going to colab with one of the other RAs doing it for another building and donate our cranes to him. I don't know about the rest of the group, but I'm rather addicted to making cranes now. And to do it and donate it to a worthy cause (they're going to take 999 to the children's hospital and have one child fold the final one--how heartbreakingly amazing is that?) would be wonderful.

Another anonymous good deed to keep me on a roll this new years.

I donated one of my cranes, but kept two of them to start my own crane flock. I'll donate most of them, but I think I'll keep these two because they got me started. It's such an easy way to help someone. You just need some paper and compassion.

Other small projects include putting together activity bags in small increments or making cards or writing letters. Why don't you try something? Even one card wishing someone a happy January could make someone smile. Wouldn't you feel wonderful knowing you made someone you didn't know smile? Try it sometime.

This is Rolph (in the back) and Lisle

Australia Chronicles... Well, Package.

2010-01-08T21:57:00.002-05:00

I absolutely love talking to people from other countries. I'm so fortunate to have corresponded with people from all walks of the world, from England, Ireland, Canada, etc. Most recently, a few of my friends have been from the land down under. This fascinated me so much when I first got to know this girl (her name is Erin) since she read my stories. I never knew much about Australia (okay, except from learning about the Great Barrier Reef and a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie), but I couldn't have imagined how much I would learn between exchanging videos imitating each others accents (I butchered it and her Boston accent was ridiculous) and talking for hours on AIM.

We helped each other through things like her writing block and need for someone to help her writing grow and my unbearable stress last semester.

I even found out the phrases we assume are "Australian" like "throw another shrimp on the bar-bay" and "a daaango at my baby" have some stories behind them as well. They call shrimp "prawns" so Erin has never heard anyone say the first one. It was laughable actually. And apparently the second surfaced from a true story involving a woman who claimed a dingo really ate her child. It was so interesting. There is more information about it here: Azaria Champerlain Disappearance

It's also strange as an American to know so much of other people's cultures come from my own. We discussed television shows and music and so much of it was American. I loved learning about the Australian artists and she sent me so many links to YouTube videos. What a learning experience.

I also learned in Australia they don't have the typical American "college experience" from what I am told. Erin is going to commute to college and that is what most people do. They don't live in residence halls and throw "wild parties" (though I have yet to see a party in college that lives up to the movies and I go to a "party school"). Erin told me a lot of people there are a bit envious of our college lifestyle since it is so much of a rite of passage into adulthood. I never really thought of it like that, but it's true. Never again will I be able to repeat things that I've done these last four years--like living in a residence hall. I'm going to do apartment/house living for the rest of my life. I won't have 600 people living in the same building, all of them right around my age. Living in a building full of 19-22 year olds is so comfortable. I think I'll be caught off guard when I suddenly become "one of those young disruptive kids" with the "loud music" and whatever else we're accused of loving these days. Is flannel back on that list? I saw it recently. Threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, Erin and I decided to finally exchange mail as of December for Christmas presents! When I got back to campus today I found the package in the back room and was absolutely thrilled. Inside were the contents of Australia--I found a giant Australian flag towel (which I love), to tank tops (for me and my best friend, who was also part of this exchange of cultures), table coasters, toothpick Australian flags, postcards, notebooks, etc. I can't even convey how excited I was.

What was most interesting to me was the Vegemite. I haven't tried it yet, but Erin tells me it's similar to jam and all Americans seem to loathe it, but it's typical in Australia. I, of course, told her to send it because I needed to get in on it.

Kristina and I are going to film the tasting when she gets back to campus. I'm very skeptical about it.

So now, in my suite, I have a little taste of Australia. I should adopt a kangaroo next and take it to training tomorrow. I'm sure they would love that.

My Loot :)

For Amy

2010-01-06T18:27:00.004-05:00

So two posts today. Mostly because something happened that made me evaluate what I do for others.

Prequel: I write stories and post them online for others. I'd like to think they're pretty popular since one has over 1100 reviews, one has 800+, and the other is just hitting 700. It keeps me writing just about every day and it's not stressful. I also do it because people love it. Therefore, it makes me feel good.

So yesterday a new chapter was posted and today I was leafing through reviews to read favorite quotes and theories and mashing up of my protag's names. I found one review, number 698, and it rendered me speechless.

hii! i really love your story and so did my best friend Amy. she was like INLOVE with this story and sadly... she passed away a couple of days ago from cancer )': ... i was just wondering if maybe you could make up a character named amy ...? i know she would've LOVED that! but if you cant then i completely understand, but i just wanted to ask in case you were able to do it. thank you

So needless to say, I sat staring in awe at my screen. My immediate thought was--OF COURSE. It's an honor, really. And it made me realize that we touch peoples lives in ways we don't even know unless it is brought to our attention. In the past I have gotten reviews telling me about readers having close family members dying and my story getting them through that difficult time. Another reader talked about depression and how the humor helped her. Some people are just stressed from classes and need a break.

It struck me so hard because I can relate to a lot of those situations. I used to read to escape everything that was going on around me and to be able to do that for someone else is one of the biggest honors. To me, that's better than getting something published and having glory--that's changing lives. Helping people.

And if Amy loved my story, then a character will certainly be named after her. I told the reader to contact me so maybe I could find out a little more about Amy, but I already have the perfect character in mind that enters a little later into the story and doesn't yet have a name.

My thoughts are with this reader and all of Amy's family. This is the very least I could do.

Egg Drop

2010-01-06T01:01:00.003-05:00

To start off this journey, I figured since I am still at home from break I would focus on that. Unfortunately, I've developed a cold. You know, that kind of cold where NyQuil is the only thing that will knock you out since you have to have a Puffs Plus Lotion every five seconds to keep the snot from making a puddle on your pillow. That kind of cold. So while I was vegging on the sofa flipping between Iron Chef America and House Hunters I decided I wanted to eat something. Unfortunately, frozen waffles and tuna helper didn't make the cut.

Luckily, my Blackberry is good for something. Internet searches. I did the ever popular "what to eat when you're sick" Google search, shuffling through results of tomato soup, grilled cheese, and various things I couldn't pronounce. But then I happened upon a recipe for Egg Drop Soup. It didn't have many ingredients, so I decided to go for it. But what I did is change the recipe.

Here's what you need:

4 cups of chicken stock
5-10 green onions. I used a whole bunch. (chop these suckers into small pieces)
2-3 eggs (lightly beaten)
.5 teaspoon of black pepper
Salt for taste

The original recipe called for white pepper, but while at Kroger I noticed it was nearly $5 for a small container and being the college student I am, I opted out of that. The original did have an optional ingredient of sesame oil, but I also opted not to use that either. I did think about buying a random cactus piece in the produce section. No go.

Bring the 4 cups of chicken stock to a boil
Add the black pepper and salt
Whisk it around
Add the green onions
Whisk it around, let it boil for about a minute
Then you're going to take the eggs (lightly beaten) in one hand (the bowl in one hand, not the eggs) and a whisk in another. Poor the eggs in a steady stream, whisking as they hit the boiling stock. If you whisk slower, you will get ribbons of egg. If you whisk faster, you will get torn strips.
Let this cook for another two minutes.
Serve and enjoy!

The lighting is horrible (from a cell picture) and I ate all the onions,
but this is the general color.

This soup was a REAL pick-me-up in terms of making me feel less miserable and it even gave me enough energy to refill my grape juice. It has a bit of a peppery taste mixed in with everything. I usually don't fancy pepper, but this I liked. It also gave me three servings.

I head back to campus on Thursday so I'll have to start living without a stove again. Not looking forward to that, but I am looking forward to getting onto a bandwagon and staying there!

P 2010

2010-01-05T16:11:00.000-05:00

How the heck is anyone stuck in a college lifestyle at the age of twenty-one supposed to keep challenging themselves? Stay healthy? Do good things for others?

My New Years resolution is to figure out the answer to that question. I'm Janice, a 21 year old college student graduating in May 2010. For the last four years, due to my job, I've been living in a residence hall and anyone who ever has knows it's impossible to stay healthy relying on campus food and questionable lettuce. I'm starting this blog to help others and to help myself stay on track. If it's in writing, you can't go back.

It is my goal to post random things throughout the year of 2010, from recipes you can make in a residence hall to things that let people challenge themselves. This is not only geared toward college students--I think anyone could benefit from microwave recipes and the description of what the fruit looks like in the food court.

I also want to post about new things I've been doing and learning. This semester will be filled with job searching, trying to get fit, and finishing off my last semester as a college student. Sharing it with someone seems like a wonderful opportunity. There is nothing better than sharing your life with others. So hopefully you'll get recipes, craft ideas, and inspiration from this.

I'm going to try and write as often as possible, at least 3-4 times a week (unless it's Finals Week--you know how that goes).

We'll call it Project 2010.

Sydney at midnight January 1st
Even though I'm not from Australia, this picture is beautiful :)